The Films



Cry of the Banshee (1970)

MC was: An Unnamed Extra (the roles don't come much smaller, folks)

Who else was in it: Vincent Price, of course.

Overall: A stock Vincent Price horror film with more than usual amounts of gratuitous sex and death (it was the late sixties, after all). Libidinous witches, unfeeling and incestuous nobles, evil stablehands and badly-done werewolves. Good for a laugh if you like that sort of thing. The North American release was heavily cut to the point of incomprehensibility, so get the British version if you can.

MC's Role: No doubt quite good. We can't work out which one he is, exactly (though you get a good view of a peasant who might be him in the dance sequence; he's got a beard and long hair, so you can't tell by his face, but he's the only one on the set over six feet tall, so it's probably him).


Times For (1971)

MC was: An unfulfilled (and subsequently, one assumes, very fulfilled) man.

Who else was in it: Verity Bargate, Carmel Court, Sally Gidal, Carolee Schneeman and... er... that's it.

Overall: "An unfulfilled man renders himself to the unrealised sensuality of four women. In his drifting search he fails and fades in the same loneliness as the women. The film is the reality and a metaphor for the intensities of sexual experiences" says the review on www.luxonline.org.uk. Apparently an Edinburgh Film Festival submission, which was never shown due to the fact that it was impossible to arrange an emergency magistrates' meeting to grant it a certificate. But it was directed by art-film type Stephen Dwoskin, and it was 1971, so no doubt it was all in the best possible taste-- for reasons which should be obvious, no one at the MCBPA has seen this.

MC's Role: Again, no doubt quite good, and all very artistic. Any further comments that I've managed to come up with have been deleted on grounds of questionable taste; suffice it to say that they involved puns about bits, parts and archives.


The Littlest Horse Thieves (UK Title: Escape from the Dark) (1975/1977)

MC was: Luke Armstrong (OK, so it's a main role not a bit part, but he was upstaged by three kids and a pony)

Who else was in it: Alistair Sim, Don Henderson, Prunella Scales, Gorden Kaye, Jeremy Bulloch, three kids and a pony.

Overall: Disney in Yorkshire, circa 1909; a modernising mine-manager decides to replace the pit ponies with more efficient machinery, which gets the local kids worried about the fate of the pit ponies, and the local miners worried about the fate of their jobs. A lot less sentimental than it sounds, and a lot less hung up on period detail/cuteness than such films usually are; I liked it, and normally I hate this sort of film, no matter who's in it.

MC's Role: That stock Disney figure, the seemingly uncaring (step-) parent who starts out shouting at his stepkids and finishes up bonding with them--although in this case it's less that he doesn't care about them than that he's evidently incapable of expressing affection (which, believe it or not, is pretty much true to life for Yorkshiremen). Fun scenes to watch for: the bit where he incites a strike ("if the ponies go, we go!"); the bit where he goes whippet-racing with the kids; any scene with him down the mine. Fast-forward through the last scene if you want to keep your stomach lining intact, though.


The Duelists (1977)

MC was: the Tall Second

Who else was in it: Keith Carradine, Harvey Keitel, Albert Finney, Diana Quick... lots of good people. And Ridley Scott, of course, behind the camera.

Overall: An artistic and existential film that baffled the critics, about two German officers who fight a series of pointless duels over the course of the Napoleonic wars. It may be a comment on the pointlessness of war, but it rather baffles the viewer too. Nice period detail.

MC's Role: A bit part, but an artistic and existential one. The Second is an enigmatic and pivotal figure to the story. His only spoken line is to deliver the villain (Keitel)'s first challenge to the hero (Carradine); subsequently, he stands at the villain's elbow silently throughout, observing the action, until finally freezing to death in Russia, bearing witness--unknown to both men--to their penultimate duel. It is only with the Second's death that the cycle of retribution can be broken. Sorry, but this film inspires that sort of comment. It's that sort of film.


Bloodline (1979)

MC was: Jon Swindon, casino owner and mafioso

Who else was in it: Who else wasn't in it might be a better question. Audrey Hepburn, Omar Sharif, James Mason, Maurice Ronet, Romy Schneider, Gert Frobe, Ben Gazzara...

Overall: in a nutshell, a clever international murder mystery--or it would be if they hadn't put in a rather gratuitous subplot about illegal pornography which seems to have nothing to do with the rest of the story.

MC's Role: is more or less a recycled version of John Kline from "Gangsters," albeit with more money and, if such a thing is possible, fewer scruples, going from an cheerful if somewhat menacing host to a hard thug not above having a debtor kneecapped. In between, he manages to get himself seduced on top of a desk, although this is really rather tasteful compared to the rest of the movie. Still, he was evidently having fun, if none of the rest of the cast were (except perhaps Omar Sharif).


Hawk the Slayer (1980)

MC was: Axe Man One (no, I'm not making this up).

Who else was in it: Roy Kinnear, Bernard Bresslaw, Christopher ("Jago") Benjamin, Warren Clarke... and who could forget Jack Palance? Not me, that's for sure...

Overall: A sword and sorcery "epic" about two brothers. The Bad One has the throne and an eyepatch; the Good One has a magic sword and a Saintesque musical sting. Great films have been made with thinner premises, but this one is sub-Krull, yondah-lies-da-castle-of-mah-faddah stuff. Still, the large amounts of unintentional humour, plus the fact that the cameraman evidently took a few sniffs of something before the shoot, make it a not-bad post-curry-and-lager-on-Friday film if you can't get hold of Con Air.

MC's Role: Axe Man One is a highwayman who, along with Axe Man Two, makes the mistake of waylaying one of the Good One's companions (the crusty, one-handed archer, in case you wondered). "What punishment is fitting for this one-handed murderer?" he asks, closely followed by "no, it's you who will be cut down!" when ordered to release said henchman. Being Axe Man One, he has one more line and lives four more seconds than Axe Man Two, but is beaten in the cliche sweepstakes five minutes later by two thugs looking for a hunchbacked slave-driver (I said, I'm not making this up. I couldn't). Nice black leather medieval-biker outfit, though.



Venom (1982)

MC was: Sampson (a police sergeant)

Who else was in it: Oliver Reed, Michael Gough, and a rubber snake.

Overall: A tense kidnapping drama, rather ruined by having a child's pet venomous snake (I'm still not making this up) get loose in the air ducts of a house and start picking off the kidnappers (and, amazingly, no one else) one by one.

MC's Role: He gets to sit in front of a radio set and call Scotland Yard a lot, and then look pensive at their responses. Oh, and he adds a bit of expository dialogue as well.


Hitler's SS (1985)

MC was: Gerhardt, the SS torturer

Who else was in it: Stratford Johns, Prentis Hancock, Forbes Collins, none of them in major roles. I can't make up my mind whether that's a good thing or not.

Overall: It tries to be another Holocaust. It succeeds in being a bit like watching fascist paint dry, with the only interesting main character having been stolen directly from Cabaret. Sorry. I tried to like it but I can't.

MC's Role: first time on American television, and he gets five minutes in total as probably the hardest thug ever, cracking cruel jokes as a suspect expires. Compare this with Attack of the Cybermen, screened in the same year, and wince.


.




Return to index.


Disclaimer: The image reproduced above is copyright Walt Disney Productions 1999, and is not being used for profit, nor is it to be so used. There are no commercial links on this page. My use of the image is probably doing Disney more good than harm. Live and let live.